Adoptive Families of Hong Kong

AFHK Monthly Parent Support Meeting: Feeling 'Entitled' to Parent Our Children

17-Sep-10 12:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK MONTHLY PARENT SUPPORT MEETING

DATE:            Friday, September 17, 2010

TIME:              12:30-2:00 pm (bring your own lunch, drinks provided)

LOCATION:      #5 Bowen Road, Midlevels
   Mother's Choice Child Care Home
   Follow signs for 'AFHK PSG' down the steps.

THIS MONTH'S TOPIC: "Yes, You Are My Kid!": Feeling 'Entitled' to Parent Our Children

The term "entitlement" is used in the adoption field to refer to your sense of legitimacy to parent your adopted child. Adoption counselor Holly Van Gulden says in her book Real Parents, Real Children: "You do have the right to have your child and to care for, discipline, and love your child."

Researchers have found that the amount of entitlement parents feel can be determined by the extent to which they take risks with their children, deal with separation, handle discipline, and discuss adoption with their children and others. Extreme behavior in either direction can be indicative of a weak sense of entitlement (Lois R. Melina, Raising Adopted Children). An adoptive parent's sense of entitlement can be impacted by a number of things, including guilt, unresolved issues related to infertility, a long waiting period before adoption finalization, the reactions of others, and more.

At our first meeting of this school year, we will explore this issue of "entitlement". Come with a tip on how you've handled these challenges, a helpful book title, your questions, or just a listening ear. Many thanks to the many moms and dads who attended last year's meetings — we had a great year of learning together, and are looking forward to more this year. We invite you to attend and meet other adoptive parents as we share our experiences!

Please RSVP to:       AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Directions:

Minibus:         #1 minibus from IFC

Peak Tram:    Take the tram to MacDonnell Road Tram stop, and walk up the steps to C2 Bowen.

Taxi:              #5 Bowen Road is at the junction of Magazine Gap and Bowen Road.

Car:                There is a public car park, with a few spaces, across the street next to the park. This lot is often full; if so, you can park in another location: #10 Borrett Road (the Mother's Choice Adoption Unit Building, just down the path from the large red, brick schools building at #10 Borrett. There are a few spaces there (please try not to block the path or other cars). Walk from #10 down the path to Bowen Road and go left (Westward, in the direction of Central) on Bowen. It is a 5 to 7 minute walk from there to #5 Bowen. The Child Care Home will be down a set of stairs to your right. (Old colonial building, the top floor of which is level with Bowen Road.) If you have any questions about directions, call Mary Child at 6012-9550.

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AFHK Monthly Parent Support Meeting: Lessons in Life and Love, What We've Learned Through Adoptive Parenting

18-Jun-10 12:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK MONTHLY PARENT SUPPORT MEETING

DATE:            Friday, June 18, 2010

TIME:              12:30-2:00 pm (bring your own lunch, drinks provided)

LOCATION:      #5 Bowen Road, Midlevels
                       Mother Choice Child Care Home
                       Follow signs for 'AFHK PSG' down the steps.

THIS MONTH'S TOPIC: Lessons in Life and Love: What We've Learned Through Adoptive Parenting

The experience of adoptive parenting teaches us about ourselves, our relationships, our families, and more. Some lessons are joyful, while others are painful; but all are valuable. As we move into summer, we want to share with each other the important lessons we have learned through adoptive parenting, so that we can hold onto them as we venture into summer to connect and bond with our children and extended families.   Come ready to share or hear about insights you've gained, ways that you or your spouse or family members have grown, a joy that you've experienced, or something that's changed as a result of your experience with adoption. We invite you to attend and meet other adoptive parents as we learn and share our experiences!

Please RSVP to:       AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Directions:

Minibus:         #1 minibus from IFC

Peak Tram:    Take the tram to MacDonnell Road Tram stop, and walk up the steps to C2 Bowen.

Taxi:              #5 Bowen Road is at the junction of Magazine Gap and Bowen Road.

Car:                There is a public car park, with a few spaces, across the street next to the park. This lot is often full; if so, you can park in another location: #10 Borrett Road (the Mother's Choice Adoption Unit Building, just down the path from the large red, brick schools building at #10 Borrett. There are a few spaces there (please try not to block the path or other cars). Walk from #10 down the path to Bowen Road and go left (Westward, in the direction of Central) on Bowen. It is a 5 to 7 minute walk from there to #5 Bowen. The Child Care Home will be down a set of stairs to your right. (Old colonial building, the top floor of which is level with Bowen Road.) If you have any questions about directions, call Mary Child at 6012-9550.

--
Adoptive Families of Hong Kong
GPO Box 8896, Central
Hong Kong

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AFHK Family Picnic & Pool Party

05-Jun-10 12:00 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, June 5, 2010

AFHK FAMILY PICNIC & POOL PARTY

Mark your calendars for some fun at the annual AFHK Family Picnic & Pool Party.
BBQ, Swimming, Games and more for parents and kids of all ages.

For more information, please email us at AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Best,

Adoptive Families of Hong Kong
GPO Box 8896, Central
Hong Kong
www.afhk.org.hk

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AFHK Monthly Parent Support Meeting

28-May-10 12:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK MONTHLY PARENT SUPPORT MEETING

DATE: Friday, May 28

TIME: 12:30-2:00 pm (bring your own lunch, drinks provided)

LOCATION: #5 Bowen Road, Midlevels

Mother Choice Child Care Home

Follow signs for 'AFHK PSG' down the steps.

THIS MONTH: SMALL GROUP FORMAT Continuing our Discussion on

Handling Our Children's Emotions: From Toddler Tantrums to Silent Treatment to Teenage Meltdowns

Many thanks to the 20 parents and other attendees who joined our last Adoptive Parents Support Meeting in April on "Handling Our Children's Emotions" undefined anger, frustration, and rage, in particular. It was clearly a popular topic, and our lively discussion and time went quickly! It seemed there was so much more to say, so at this month's meeting, we will break into two smaller groups and continue the discussion about emotions. Mary Child will facilitate one small group on general parenting challenges with regard to emotions and anger; Gretchen Ryan and Erica Liu Wollin will facilitate a small group discussion on handling emotions specifically in kids with attachment issues.

If you have any helpful resources (especially those of you who brought books last time but we didn't have time to mention them), please feel free to bring them to share with the rest of us. Our conversations have been fruitful, and our meetings continue to be a useful time for connecting with other adoptive parents and sharing our experiences. If you have not yet joined us for a meeting, we welcome you to come and participate in our next discussion.

Please RSVP to: AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Directions:

Minibus: #1 minibus from IFC

Peak Tram: Take the tram to MacDonnell Road Tram stop, and walk up the steps to C2 Bowen.

Taxi: #5 Bowen Road is at the junction of Magazine Gap and Bowen Road.

Car: There is a public car park, with a few spaces, across the street next to the park. This lot is often full; if so, you can park in another location: #10 Borrett Road (the Mother's Choice Adoption Unit Building, just down the path from the large red, brick schools building at #10 Borrett. There are a few spaces there (please try not to block the path or other cars). Walk from #10 down the path to Bowen Road and go left (Westward, in the direction of Central) on Bowen. It is a 5 to 7 minute walk from there to #5 Bowen. The Child Care Home will be down a set of stairs to your right. (Old colonial building, the top floor of which is level with Bowen Road.) If you have any questions about directions, call Mary Child at 6012-9550.

Adoptive Families of Hong Kong

GPO Box 8896, Central

Hong Kong

www.afhk.org.hk

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Helpful Article on Adoption / Attachment Issues

18-May-10 10:12 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

In the interest of sharing useful articles and resources with our members: we are sending a link to an article that may be of interest to those of you who have been following the case of the adopted Russian boy whose American adoptive mother sought to return him to Russia because of his behavior issues, creating an international incident for Russian-U.S. adoption relations. The story has been the subject of many conversations within U.S. adoption communities, naturally, but has also been followed with interest abroad. A common thread from the discussions is that some adoptive parents, when faced with extremely difficult attachment disorders, are both ill-prepared beforehand, and ill-supported after the adoption when the issues become manifest. This story is one extreme, thankfully, that few parents have to face. But even for moderate attachment concerns, knowing where to turn for support is important. This article is offers the perspective of a child development specialist and therapist, Patricia Cogan.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/04/14/cogen.adoption.russian/index.html

yours in adoptive parenthood,

Steering Committee

Adoptive Families of Hong Kong

--

Adoptive Families of Hong Kong

GPO Box 8896, Central

Hong Kong

www.afhk.org.hk

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AFHK Friday Night at the Movies: "Daughter from Da Nang" (UPDATED)

14-May-10 18:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES!

Friday, May 14, 2010

WHEN:      6:30 p.m. (pizza is served), 7:15 film begins, informal discussion to be held after the film.

WHERE:  Banquet Room, Bamboo Grove Club House, 7th Floor, 74-86 Kennedy Road, Midlevels

Featuring:

"DAUGHTER FROM DANANG"

A documentary film following the story of an American Vietnamese adoptee on a journey to reconnect with her birth family in Vietnam.

A moving and provocative film, it explores the mixed emotions of an adopted person searching for roots and identity across race, borders and cultures.

        The film, nominated for an Academy Award in 2002, is not rated, but it would not be suitable for children, and some teens may find it difficult.

About 80 minutes long.

"fascinating!" – New York Times

"Startling! a Jaw-dropping assault on cultural stereotypes." – San Jose Mercury News

PLEASE RSVP by Tuesday, May 11 to:   AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

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AFHK Adoptive Parents Monthly Support Meeting: Handling Our Children's Emotions, Part I: From Toddler Tantrums to Silent Treatment to Teenage Meltdowns

23-Apr-10 12:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK MONTHLY PARENT SUPPORT MEETING

DATE:            Friday, April 23, 2010

TIME:              12:30-2:00 pm (bring your own lunch, drinks provided)

LOCATION:     #5 Bowen Road, Midlevels
                       Mother Choice Child Care Home
                       Follow signs for 'AFHK PSG' down the steps.

THIS MONTH'S TOPIC: Handling Our Children's Emotions, Part I: From Toddler Tantrums to Silent Treatment to Teenage Meltdowns

Many thanks to the many moms and dads who joined our last Parent Support Meeting! At this month's meeting we will talk about handling our children's emotions - particularly anger, frustration, and rage. Managing these encounters with our children requires a skillful balance of patience, empathy, self-control, and limit-setting. Come with a tip on how you've handled these challenges, a helpful book title, your questions, or just a listening ear. We invite you to attend and meet other adoptive parents as we learn and share our experiences!

Please RSVP to:       AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Directions:

Minibus:         #1 minibus from IFC

Peak Tram:    Take the tram to MacDonnell Road Tram stop, and walk up the steps to C2 Bowen.

Taxi:              #5 Bowen Road is at the junction of Magazine Gap and Bowen Road.

Car:                There is a public car park, with a few spaces, across the street next to the park. This lot is often full; if so, you can park in another location: #10 Borrett Road (the Mother's Choice Adoption Unit Building, just down the path from the large red, brick schools building at #10 Borrett. There are a few spaces there (please try not to block the path or other cars). Walk from #10 down the path to Bowen Road and go left (Westward, in the direction of Central) on Bowen. It is a 5 to 7 minute walk from there to #5 Bowen. The Child Care Home will be down a set of stairs to your right. (Old colonial building, the top floor of which is level with Bowen Road.) If you have any questions about
directions, call Mary Child at               6012-9550         6012-9550.

--
Adoptive Families of Hong Kong
GPO Box 8896, Central
Hong Kong

www.afhk.org.hk

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Chinese Adult Adoptee Worldwide Reunion

31-Mar-10 09:06 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

Dear AFHK Families,

In September, a group of international Hong Kong adoptees (born in Hong Kong, adopted and raised abroad) are returning to Hong Kong for the first-ever such reunion here. The Chinese Adult Adoptee Worldwide Reunion is for adoptees 18 and older, and will take place from Tuesday, September 28 to Saturday, October 2. It will be a combination of social and informational gatherings, with some events for adoptees only and some open to others with connections to adoption.

A few of the attendees, many of whom will be returning to Hong Kong for the first time since their adoption, will be looking for home stays to help keep their costs down. It will also be a nice way for them to get to know some of our adoptive families community here in Hong Kong. If your family would be willing to host an attendee during that week, please contact me for more information at: AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Yours in adoptive parenthood,

Mary Child

Co-Chair, Steering Committee

Adoptive Families of Hong Kong

GPO Box 8896, Central

Hong Kong

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AFHK Monthly Parent Support Meeting

26-Mar-10 12:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK MONTHLY PARENT SUPPORT MEETING

DATE:            Friday, March 26

TIME:              12:30-2:00 pm (bring your own lunch, drinks provided)

LOCATION:      #5 Bowen Road, Midlevels
                       Mother Choice Child Care Home
                       Follow signs for 'AFHK PSG' down the steps.

THIS MONTH'S FORMAT: Small Group Discussions on Topics of Parents' Choice

At this month's meeting, we will be breaking into smaller discussion groups to help meet the needs of our diverse families. This format has been received very positively at previous meetings as a time to talk more deeply and specifically about relevant issues. This month, Gretchen Ryan will facilitate a small group open for discussion on any issues relevant to children in secondary-school, teens, and young adults. Erica Liu Wollin will facilitate the other small group, open for discussion on any issues relevant for infant, toddler, and primary-school aged children. So come with a topic you want to discuss or just a listening ear!

Many thanks to the 15 moms, dads and other attendees who joined our last Adoptive Parents Support Meeting in February on Lifebooks and Talking to Our Children About Adoption.  Our conversations have been fruitful, and our meetings continue to be a useful time for connecting with other adoptive parents and sharing our experiences. If you have not yet joined us for a meeting, we welcome you to come and participate in our next discussion.

Please RSVP to:       AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Directions:

Minibus:         #1 minibus from IFC

Peak Tram:    Take the tram to MacDonnell Road Tram stop, and walk up the steps to C2 Bowen.

Taxi:              #5 Bowen Road is at the junction of Magazine Gap and Bowen Road.

Car:                There is a public car park, with a few spaces, across the street next to the park. This lot is often full; if so, you can park in another location: #10 Borrett Road (the Mother's Choice Adoption Unit Building, just down the path from the large red, brick schools building at #10 Borrett. There are a few spaces there (please try not to block the path or other cars). Walk from #10 down the path to Bowen Road and go left (Westward, in the direction of Central) on Bowen. It is a 5 to 7 minute walk from there to #5 Bowen. The Child Care Home will be down a set of stairs to your right. (Old colonial building, the top floor of which is level with Bowen Road.) If you have any questions about
directions, call Mary Child at 6012-9550.

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AFHK Monthly Parent Support Meeting - Lifebooks and Telling Your Child's Adoption Story

26-Feb-10 12:30 | AFHK Webmaster (administrator)

AFHK MONTHLY PARENT SUPPORT MEETING

DATE:            Friday, Feb 26, 2010

TIME:              12:30-2:00 pm (bring your own lunch, drinks provided)

LOCATION:   #5 Bowen Road, Midlevels
                       Mother Choice Child Care Home
                       Follow signs for 'AFHK PSG' down the steps.

THIS MONTH'S TOPIC: Lifebooks and Telling Your Child's Adoption Story

Many thanks to the more than 40 parents and teachers who joined our recent evening on "When Adoption Meets the Classroom." We had a fruitful discussion on several issues regarding adoption and school life; from that, we received requests to discuss Lifebooks as one way to assist us in talking with our children about their adoption journey.

At this month's Parent Support Meeting we will introduce the concept of Lifebooks and explore how they can be useful and meaningful. If you are familiar with Lifebooks and have made one for your child that you would be willing to share at the meeting (and if your child would be comfortable with you doing so), you are encouraged to bring it so that others can see examples. We will also discuss other means and ways for telling our children their adoption stories. We invite you to come and meet other adoptive parents as we learn and share our experiences!

Please RSVP to: AFHK.Committee@gmail.com

Directions:

Minibus: #1 minibus from IFC
Peak Tram: Take the tram to MacDonnell Road Tram stop, and walk up the steps to C2 Bowen.
Taxi: #5 Bowen Road is at the junction of Magazine Gap and Bowen Road.
Car: There is a public car park, with a few spaces, across the street next to the park. This lot is often full; if so, you can park in another location: #10 Borrett Road (the Mother's Choice Adoption Unit Building, just down the path from the large red, brick schools building at #10 Borrett. There are a few spaces there (please try not to block the path or other cars). Walk from #10 down the path to Bowen Road and go left (Westward, in the direction of Central) on Bowen. It is a 5 to 7 minute walk from there to #5 Bowen. The Child Care Home will be down a set of stairs to your right. (Old colonial building, the top floor of which is level with Bowen Road.) If you have any questions aboutdirections, call Mary Child at 6012-9550.

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